Saturday, April 10, 2021

In the bowels of the night...

fake summary from fake site

 I don't know about other first-time novelists, but I will confess here that in the lonely hours of the night--every night--I scour google for mention of my book, and sometimes I come up with some truly odd ducks. I decided to share one of those I came across last night. It's by one of those many sites that offers your book as a free download. (My publisher assures me that such sites afford you nothing for free except the opportunity to have your information stolen, possibly your credit card, in exchange for a nasty virus. I'm not sure that's true of ALL such sites, but it's a comforting thought.)

The flowery encomiums of my book are lifted from one such site. It is possibly the most fawning review ever written. And I was half-way through the second paragraph, soaking it all in, before I realized the review was not about my book at all, in fact had nothing to do with my book. I was able to elide over "useful information and life tips", but ran up on the reef at "This memoir..."

In case you haven't read my book, it could in no light be mistaken for a memoir...unless you assumed that I was Dr. John Watson.

I assume that this was a real review which has come unmoored from its original book, and been drafted into service for any book you might have been searching for. It's a wonderful review for anyone, as long as you ignore things like nouns and possibly adjectives. As a matter of fact, with a little judicious trimming, this could make boffo advertising copy.

The author beautifully combines beauty and truth in an elegant and effective way..."

Why, it's positively Keatsian!

2 comments:

Elisabeth Liebert said...

"The Strange Case of Eliza Doolittle" did indeed make my day, but more because it (a) has an engaging plot, (b) is peopled with fascinating characters, and (c) reacquainted me with old friends such as "vatic" and "Percheron" which I haven't met in a novel for a very, very long time. But now I'm kicking myself, because I totally missed the "Native constructs" and the "four cardinal points." Suppose I must have been enjoying the read too much to notice them. Dang.

Timothy Miller said...

If you find them, let me know.